Minicows

So we published an article today about minicows. Minicows you say!? Yes, that’s right, minicows. Smaller versions of cows. If cows are big, minicows are not as big. I believe the correct term is not minicows but minicattle…that’s the PC term. But I’m gonna call them minicows, cause minicows is funnier.
Here’s the deal in a [...]

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My iPhone and Me

I finally purchased an iPhone. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it…it’s this new contraption from the makers of the Apple Macintosh computer, first produce in the year 1984. Now if you’re not aware, essentially the ownership of the iPhone makes me a better person than you. It’s simple mathematics: 1 iPhone + [...]

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Fat Princess

So I wrote an article today about a video game that has upset the feminist community. The Playstation game is called Fat Princess. You’d think the name in itself would not indicate that it would cause problems by any means, of course. Fat Princess. But it did. Feminist bloggers…thats right, you heard me, feminist bloggers, [...]

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Awkward Handshakes

Kids today. Too many handshakes if you ask me. Back in my day we had one handshake for the lot of you…crazy kids and your drugs.
I’m not “with it.” For example, handshakes. It’s too complicated. Makes my head hurt, and causes much unneeded discomfort for my brain and for my soul.
Life was much easier when [...]

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Bear Grylls Goes to the Grocery Store to Buy Milk…But the Milk is Spoiled…Bear Grylls is Sad

I’m back! I’m sorry about the lack of blogging, I just got back from my two month long trip to Tahiti. It’s quite nice this time of year, Tahiti is. There are beaches. And fish. Pretty, colorful fish. And Tahitians.
If you read that and thought, “Josh wasn’t in Tahiti,” then you’d be right, I just [...]

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The General

I was sitting on the couch, watching Game 2 of the basketball finals and basking in the utter lack of air conditioning that our living room provides in 99 degree heat (even at night), when I notice an object jumping from the corner of my eye.
It must have been a bug. So I go in [...]

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Aliens…it’s About Time

Aliens are here, finally. A man named Stan Romanek of Colorado has found seemingly irrefutable, airtight proof that aliens exist, and they like to stare at him while he’s sleeping. He was on Larry King showing his video of an alien peeping through his window and now he and his supporter(s) want to form an [...]

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Eye Balls

As a writer, I never really liked reading much. That, and the fact that I never had formal grammar training in school, explain my sub-par grammar. Once I get involved in a book, I tend to like it. But I have to get over that hump. For example, I much rather do something active and [...]

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Herbs

Picture yourself in 6th grade. You get into a scuffle with some kid, and then you get into a diss-off. A good old-fashioned diss-off. Maybe one of you makes a mom joke and the other most probably also makes a mom joke. But then your opponent goes, “Oh yeah, well, well you’re a herb.”
A herb…What [...]

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I Have No Idea What to Title This

I know I said I would only write short, concise blog posts, covering one topic for each one so that I don’t infuriate my readers with mindless awfulness. But I lied, and you should never listen to anything I say. Anything!
First things first. Purell smells bad. That’s right, I said it. Not only does it [...]

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