I’m back! I’m sorry about the lack of blogging, I just got back from my two month long trip to Tahiti. It’s quite nice this time of year, Tahiti is. There are beaches. And fish. Pretty, colorful fish. And Tahitians.
If you read that and thought, “Josh wasn’t in Tahiti,” then you’d be right, I just made that up. I wasn’t in Tahiti, I’ve just been LAZY. But I would have preferred to be lazy in Tahiti than New York, obviously.
Shockingly, my blog traffic hasn’t been doing too badly for my lengthy hiatus. Blogs have a fantastic stats feature, so I can learn a good amount about how many views I get. I can even watch you all as you read my blog. I’m looking at you right now. “Is he lying again, like Tahiti?” You’ll just never know.
But I do learn if someone checks out a certain blog post, and what people searched to find my blog. For some reason, I’ve been pulling off a solid 30 views a day, even though the only thing on my blog for like a month has been a picture of a happy cartoon bug. I figured my parents, grandparents and girlfriend would probably check the site about every other day at least…but 30 views, how’s that possible? Humanity must have lost faith in my ability to post by now, right? That bug is really not that awesome to look at.
Every day I get about 20 people finding this blog by searching, “Bear Grylls.” That’s right. Remember that incredible version of masculinity who eats snakes and sky dives into the ocean for no apparent reason? Well, I wrote a blog about him in JANUARY (when I started the blog), called “Not Really Surviving Man,” about Bear, and Les Stroud of Survivorman, and who would win in a fight and what not; I also wrote about what would happen if I were on those shows, and how quickly I would perish. So, Internet users cannot get enough of my Bear Grylls and Man vs. Wild diatribe.
Thank you very much Bear and Bear Grylls lovers for keeping this blog alive during its darkest moments. And to widen my fan base I will make an attempt to use the name Bear Grylls in all the rest of my blog posts.
BEAR GRYLLS BEAR GRYLLS BEAR GRYLLS BEAR GRYLLS BEAR GRYLLS BEAR GRYLLS BEAR GRYLLS BEAR GRYLLS
Thank you and God bless.
Katz – I think you just broke every rule of SEO ever made.
I will bet you a sugar-free marble cake that writing about Grey’s would get even more hits
Wow that’s weird. Just a few moments ago I was scouring the web for Bear Grylls real first name, which just happens to be Edward Michael, and came upon a picture of his head poking out of the sand. And that is how I discovered this blog.