Remember when I wrote a blog about all my physical problems. I think I can add another one to the list right now. I’ve been working at my job now for about a year, and it involves a lot of typing. A lot of thumb-moving, if you will. So now at random moments my thumb starts moving. Without me moving it. I just stare at it for a little bit, tell it to “stop it,” and it might stop. But I turn away for a second, and there it goes again. I grab it, squeeze it for a minute, press my thumb to my hand, maybe head butt it. Then it goes away. Then I turn around, and there it goes. He’s a jokester that thumb.
I believe “trigger finger” is the medical way to describe it. Lots of finger twitching. It comes and goes…it doesn’t really “hurt me” per se. It’s just well, really annoying. I would assume this is what rigor mortis feels like. I’m sure dead people find it equally as annoying as I do.
Speaking of rigor mortis (time for an amazing segue!), my friend Zach just sent me this article precisely one instant ago when I told him “I can’t think of anything to write about, I just wrote a paragraph about my quivering thumb.” The title of the article is “Oklahoma man who was declared dead says he feels ‘pretty good.’” I’m still not sure if he sent me this article because he thought it was fascinating as he is a med student, or because the title is hilarious. I’m gonna assume the latter because he’s a very unfascinating person.
Apparently the Oklahoma man was pronounced dead and the doctors were just about to harvest his organs when “he moved his foot and hand.” And now, four months later, he says he feels “pretty good.” Let’s just say that would have been real awkward if he woke up as the doctors were pulling out his liver. Oklahoma man: “Umm, what’r you doing.” Doctors: “nothing.”
Although he wasn’t saved by rigor mortis, I felt the situation was close enough to provide a phenomenal segue. But it gets better, because I’m now going to segue into the enchanting and jolly topic of (drumroll)….Getting buried alive!
Kill Bill 2 was one of my favorite movies of all time; oddly enough I hated Kill Bill 1. In fact, I’m not really sure why I went to see Kill Bill 2 after seeing 1. Although it was cool to watch, it just felt like a video game. You ever play the Nintendo game Kung Fu, when your character moved across the screen to the left, and since it wasn’t in 3-D all the bad guys just piled up behind each other, until you kicked once and then all died and/or fell off the board mysteriously. Well that’s what Kill Bill 1 felt like to me–I rather play a video game than watch it.
Nevertheless, two was fantastic in my opinion; and I thought one of the greatest scenes was when Uma Thurman gets buried alive by the bad guys. I can be pretty claustrophobic, and I would say getting buried alive has to be one of my greatest fears besides getting my blood taken. When Uma wakes up in darkness, feels around, finds out that she’s in a coffin, can barely move and is buried six feet underground, the panic really comes through.
But, as those of you who saw the movie know, it all works out. She channels her martial arts teachings from the angry old man with the long, white beard who vigorously trained her to punch forcefully from a close proximity. With constricted movement, she was able to punch her way out of the coffin and climb to air.
I’m not sure if you could climb your way out in real life without being suffocated. Plus, I was never taught by any wise, old man with a long white beard. But it was a reassuring tale nonetheless if I were ever given the unfortunate lot of being buried alive.
Long story short, it won’t be the worst thing in the world if I don’t do anything to fix my trigger finger. The hours upon hours of sheer exasperation would be evened out by the fact that my thumb will start twitching in case people think I’m dead. Although, the doctors might just attribute that to my rigor mortis, in which case all would be for naught.
Oh no, and there it goes again….
This is just a case of horrible reporting.
No medical professional is quoted in this story.
How much would you trust his father’s interpretation of a “brain scan?”
Last month CNN ran a story with a headline about a brain-dead baby.
The baby was also NOT brain-dead.
If only CNN had a medical reporter – perhaps a neurosurgeon, to set them straight.
Not that it’s the same as a person being presumed dead, but :
I remember a news story from a few years ago about a dog who “came back to life.” He had been severely injured, “passed away,” and was put in a freezer (as is commonly done for immediate storage) by the ASPCA or some other organization. Several hours later, an employee returned to find a happy dog in the freezer, wagging his tail. Cold weather, the freezer, and a series of other lucky coincidences had really just slowed the dog’s metabolism and body functions— he had not actually died. If my memory serves me right, he was re-named “Lucky.”
“Lucky” for us…. strict procedures and protocols in hospitals prevent us from having to worry about this for ourselves.