Did Somebody Say Khrushchev?

Now, I’m never devoid of blog ideas, but I’ve never had that aha! moment to outright promote my company, findingDulcinea.com. My fellow coworkers appear to have had these situations galore. For example, my currently sick yet flame-retardant (unno, why not?) desk-sharer Rachel was able to give the company a shout out in one of her first blog entries. Her dad had some illness, and I think Rachel was like, “Hold on, let me check our guide to that.” And within minutes she was able to cure her dad. Or, take for example, co-worker Kate. I think she was in Ireland or something and was thinking, “What is Ireland anyway, a state?” She said something along those lines. Before her trip, she took a look at our Ireland guide, and got all the Ireland-know-how she could ever imagine.

But where was Josh’s big moment? When was Josh able to announce once and for all that findingDulcinea can answer that question…Well the moment came today. My roommate–to protect the innocent let’s call him A. Levine, or better yet, Adam L.–was talking to me about the Westminster dog show. “A French Bulldog won something today.” This comment actually bore significance because we were pondering getting a French Bulldog for the apartment for some time (I wanted a droopy eyed English Bulldog, Adam wanted something smaller, and my other roommate Josh and girlfriend Leslie thought we’d just end up killing the dog out of our incompetence, so we settled on nothing…probably for the best). By the way, the Bulldog won the award for “Best Dog of the Opposite Sex.” What that means, I do not know….I didn’t know Westminster had transvestite dog implications.

But I digress. He said, “And the Bulldog’s owner is the granddaughter of the Hearsts, who joined a group called the SLA, robbed a bank, got arrested and got pardoned by President Clinton.” Well, well, well. Now was my time to shine. Now was my time to whip out ye ol knowledge container. I smiled. “You know, I actually did an ‘On This Day’ about Patty Hearst a couple weeks ago.” It gets better. “In fact!…I’m going to send you the link at this very moment…sending…link…now.”

I don’t know if Adam ever read the article, but my moment happened. Maybe it won’t happen again for millennia, maybe it’ll happen when I least expect it. Maybe I’ll be on the subway, and someone will say, “I’m sorry, does this train stop at 59th?” And I’ll be like, “Did you say Brett Hull!!”

“No, I asked does this train stop at…”

“What a coincidence. I just wrote a feature the other day, THE VERY OTHER DAY, about the Hull family. There were three professional Hull hockey players you know…just like the Manning family, with father Archie, teen and commercial idol Peyton, former antiquing dweeb now hero Eli, and then there’s Cooper…”

“Oh, I didn’t…”

“No you didn’t, no you didn’t, INDEED. Oh wait, did you say 59th street? Yeah, that was the last stop, I think you just missed it.”

So there you have it. I’ll probably have chances galore to introduce the Dulcinea. By the way, Patty Hearst was Crazy! Remember my blog post about Survivorman, and then Man vs. Wild and how I said they were totally insane. And then I wrote a post two days ago about the Bugman, and said his craziness far surpassed the others. Well Patty Hearst…let’s just say she was one cooky cat. If you were a newspaper heiress, wouldn’t you join your captors and rob a bank? I thought so. Now on to more important matters like…

Did somebody say Vladamir Putin!! And sexy body? Well then your prayers are answered.

I can’t make this stuff up.