I Think It’s Obvious What This Entry is About

O…m….g. I very rarely whip out the omg, because of its association with yippy teenage girls and its destruction of the English language, etc., etc. But, at this current moment in time, I feel omg is the only phrase to fully portray the way I am feeling, and probably how much of New York is feeling.

Lawrence Tynes (who I currently looked up, and his full name is Lawrence James Henry Tynes) is now the most beautiful Scotsman in the world. I was mad when he missed that first field goal. I was really mad when he missed the game winning field goal. It’s funny how one kick can redeem everything, though. I don’t care that it took him three tries…he still has the finest foot in all of Scotland.

If the Giants didn’t win, this would be a very angry blog post right now–because I’ve never seen a more poorly coached game before. This game looked rigged if I ever did see. The holding call with two minutes left in the game when Bradshaw ran for a touchdown? The alleged non-offsides by the Packers when Eli got sacked on a vital third down, even though he was practically on top of Eli when he hiked the ball? And then there were some calls sprinkled here and there against the Packers.

Oh, and another thing. What’s the deal with R.W. McQuarters? Why must he do this to us? McQuarters single-handedly cut about 40 years from my life. He’s a funny guy McQuarters. He makes an amazing play and gets Giants fans really happy. And then he causes everything to come crashing down in only a few heart-shattering seconds. It’s like he derives satisfaction out of juggling our emotions. He makes a spectacular interception when the Packers were about to score, runs it back for about ten yards!…and then he fumbles. He returns a punt back for a substantial gain, into Packers territory, putting the Giants in exceptional position to win the game!…and then he fumbles. Luckily that second fumble ended up back in the Giants hands after the cookiest series of events I’ve ever witnessed. So, Mr. R.W…do us all a favor in the Super Bowl, and stop it…just stop it…it’s not funny.

Now, I hate to take partial credit for the Giants victory, but I am going to do so anyway. You see, I have a Mathias Kiwanuka jersey. I enjoy buying the more obscure jerseys because then you get people saying, “Who is that?” And then I say, “Shut up, you.” But Mr. Kiwanuka, who I believe is a Ugandan prince (this could be completely wrong, but I recall hearing it somewhere), took an unfortunate fall earlier in the season, and he has not been able to play for the year. Nevertheless, I still wear my Mathias Kiwanuka jersey with pride week after week, even though he forgot to tackle a quarterback last year and kind of just hugged him for a while.

For every Giant playoff game this year (and some games during the season), I start out wearing the Kiwanuka jersey. Then something awful inevitably happens (a Giant interception, Eli crying, Plaxico’s arms get caught in somebody’s helmet); and I rip off the jersey like Superman, roll it up, and in a murderous rage, chuck into my room. The result? The Giants make an amazing play, start clawing back, and voila, the Giants pull off a seemingly impossible victory.

Usually my patience lasts until the second quarter at most, thanks to the Giants tack for horrendous first halfs. But yesterday was slightly different. The Giants played a pretty decent game for the first half. In other words, they had not made any monumental mistakes, and they were only down by a few points. So the jersey had to stay on, despite my apprehension.

Beginning of the second half: Eli gets hit hard, chucks the ball in the air, interception. I look at everyone else in the room, nodded, and pull that baby off. Just when that jersey came over the top of my head, it began. No interception, pass interference. It was Giants time.

Now, I hope writing this down doesn’t cancel out the potency of “the jersey,” let alone “blogging” about it. But that’s just a chance I’m willing to take, because, the Giants are going to need much more help than my jersey when they play the Patriots.

Ah, the Patriots. The whole situation is quite apt. The Giants probably would not be in the Super Bowl if it weren’t for the Patriots. If Tom Coughlin didn’t choose to put the team into overdrive against the Pats in week 17, and prove to the league that the Pats were not invincible, thereby boosting the Giants confidence to subhuman levels, they probably would have floundered in Tampa Bay like they usually do in the playoffs, and allowed Jeff Garcia to embarrass them like he does seemingly every year.

The Giants didn’t beat the Patriots in Week 17. They should have; they had the game in hand, but they let up in the end. The Pats are scared. The Pats are scared because they know they could have easily dispatched the Cowboys and the Packers; because the Cowboys and the Packers are good teams, but good teams don’t beat the Patriots. Scrappy teams beat the Patriots. Teams who have been defying odds for an entire season beat the Patriots.

So it’ll be oh so perfect when the Giants end the Patriots undefeated, divinely-inspired season, and obtain vengeance from Week 17’s fourth quarter collapse. I mean, it’s nice if the Giants win the Super Bowl. But it’s much nicer knowing that the Patriots will have to consider the fact that they ruined their undefeated season in the Super Bowl to none-other than the New York Giants.

But I’m just content that I have a week off to fully decompress from that game. I’m sure the Giants must have been really cold and tired, but emotionally, I’m spent. McQuarters…I’m watching you! Oh, and donations to the writer of this blog in the form of tickets to Arizona would be highly appreciated.