My first blog post. This is truly an historic day for America. I’ve always stood by my firm commitment not to blog, for two reasons. Number one, blog is an annoying word. It’s great at first. The word just rolls off the tongue. Blog, blog, blog, blog, blog, blog. It bears a close resemblance to the word “log,” but with a “b” in front. Log, in my opinion, is also a fun word to say. There’s something about that “og” suffix that just makes me happy…at first. But then the word starts to grow on you, and begins to gnaw until you wish you would just be hit with a ton of logs.
Number two: why would anyone other than myself care to read what I just wrote? Do people have nothing better to do then to live vicariously through other peoples’ unfortunate grammar and incoherent drivel. In fact, you’ll most likely come across an instantordinate number of grammatical errors throughout this blog…and you’ll be like, “argghh, can reading really make you stupider? If so, I pretty sure I’m now stupider.” But then you’ll read on, because you already came this far, why stop now? You already dedicated about two minutes of your life to reading a painful stream-of-consciousness, so I suppose I’ll just finish and never read it again. But then three days from now, you’ll be like: “Hrm, I’m bored. I wonder what else that hooligan has to say.” And then you’ll come to my blog, and I’ve won. The Communists won.
But that’s besides the point. The point is, blogging is no fun, for anyone involved. Apparently the presidential candidates are going to have to cater to the blogosphere now. I’m still not sure whether that’s a good thing or not. But with a word as catchy as blog, it’s hard not to cater to that crowd. It’s cool, hip, radical.
Unfortunately for all of you readers out there I’m not going to explain why I started blogging. I’m just going to say the reason is because I’m a hypocrite, and that’s why you shouldn’t believe anything I’m going to say for the tenure of this blog.
Josh, I agree with you about blogs. Most bloggers just like to hear themselves blab. You may notice that there’s a certain homophony between ‘blog’ and ‘blab’ and ‘blather’ and ‘blahblahblah,’ and that’s no accident.
That’s why I started using the word ‘blog’ in many new and colorful ways, as in: “I can’t get this bloggin’ jpeg to download!” or: “Blog me, that scammin’, scrapin’ Web site stole my identity!”
Have a bloggin’ good new year.